Fear of going Flying.

It is very cold here. I don't mind the cold all that much it is the ice that I dread. These days upon waking my first thought tends to be " oh nooooo, It's going to be slippery."This morning I was woken by a message saying ," don't go to work via Lemon Quay, you will die" and another from a work mate saying that she couldn't get out of her village.I am not dextrous or blessed with grace. I fall over. A lot. An awful lot. Am not sure why, I've always been like this, as a child I dreaded sports at school, simply walking was enough of a challenge, why complicate it by adding running to the mix? In books and films women with slight clumsiness issues are adorable, an inability to stay upright is almost a cypher for vulnerability, or worse, self conscious kookiness. "awwwww look" say all the men as some poppet in a vintage frock prettily misses her footing sending her journal and some baked goods flying. I guess that it helps if you look like Natalie Portman. Nothing against Natalie Portman at all.I think that she is most lovesome. It's just that I don't look like Natalie Portman, and so when I fall over for the umpteenth time it doesn't quite provoke the same reaction. Kindly meant hysteria is the best that I can hope for. When it's particularly bad my beloved will walk me to work, an act of supreme kindness considering that I start work at half past seven in the morning and that he works frankly insane hours.Proof, I suppose, that the people who matter do find me vulnerable and want to protect me. Or maybe they just want a laugh.

 Now that I am safe indoors I can see that it is very beautiful outside. The light is magical and the sky looks like a Cocteau twins CD cover. So yes, very lovely indeed. Just don't ask me to go out in it.